CHANCERY Effing STONE.

The woman is too stupid to be real. She’s spent days arguing and trying cause a kerfuffle on the Amazon boards, all because she wants to sell more books. She obviously believes that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. (I wonder how that’s working out for her?)

She then decides to act like the injured party, and posts this crap, on the Amazon romance readers board:

Hi, my name is Chancery Stone. I am the author of The DANNY Quadrilogy and I first posted on this forum two days ago. Since then I have witnessed some strange and occasionally, at least to me, entertaining behaviour, and what I want to ask you now is this:

Do romance authors hate all other authors? Do YOU hate other authors? Or is it really a small clique of authors on here that simply create this impression?

Now that we know what her usual MO is, this seems like such an obvious ploy to get people to lash out at her, thus generating more talk about her and her books. I don’t mind giving her the publicity she obviously craves, but sooner or later, she’s gonna learn that most valuable of lessons: Nothing really ever dies on the internet.

The silly arse continues:

In my short two days I’ve had authors stridently assert that my book wasn’t a romance – without them knowing the first thing about it. I’ve had them tell me it “couldn’t qualify as a romance” because it contained incest. I’ve had them assert very aggressively, and repeatedly, that ALL romance readers have to have a happy ending on their romances or they will boycott any authors that dare to do different. I’ve had them assert that Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre – the prototype romances upon which all modern romances are based – are not romances. Neither, apparently, are Gone With The Wind, or the works of Virginia Andrews.

I imagine there are an awful lot of readers around the world right now cheerfully believing they are reading some of the finest romances in the world only to be bitterly disillusioned, by this board, to discover they are not.

What an utter fuckwit.

have also been told that the definition of romance is determined by the Romance Writers of America, an appallingly xenophobic remark that we shall put to one side for just now to discuss what this says about the board. Is everyone on it really that narrow in their definitions? Are YOU only confident you are reading a romance if the RWA says so? Who exactly ARE the RWA to determine what is a romance and what isn’t, and to lay down rules – if they actually do – about it’s ‘true’ nature?

She is such an attention-seeking dickhead.

I am curious as to what all the hundreds (thousands?) of silent readers think, reading this hostility masquerading as “advice”. Does it make you want to take part in discussions? Do you feel these people represent your views? Are you afraid to venture your true feelings, ‘advertise’ your own work, say anything, indeed, in case the self-appointed clique-of-the-week decide to take you down for not conforming?

I can pretty much guarantee that the majority of the silent romance readers, think you’re a cock.

This comment had me choking on my lemon tea:

Part of this charming definition of ‘etiquette’ has, for my part, included me being threatened with the ‘report abuse’ button. It has also had me referred to as “one of those foreigners” who, allegedly, come over to Amazon.com just to break these ‘rules’ of ‘etiquette’, perhaps by stealing your jobs and raping your women.

Yes, people, this twat is actually comparing the reaction of romance readers to racism.

There are lots more, but this little comment tells you what that whole post was really about:

This sad and moving speech has been brought to you by Chancery Stone, author of The Danny Quadrilogy, volume 1 of which may be bought from Amazon.co.uk and Volume 2 of which appears here on Amazon.com.

At one point, she boasts that she has loads of readers and her sales are fabulous. But this naturally begs the question, if she’s got that many readers, why does she feel the need to go around and harp on about her books to an audience that she surely knows wont be adding to her sales figures?

This comment from ‘Francois’ had me laughing my tits off:

So we’ve established that Chancery Stone is a nutcase who’s been shilling her “novel” for upwards of fifteen years to no avail whatsoever in between masturbating to her own genius. Oh, and I have a new favorite quote:

“I like going for the jugular and watching them squirm as they try to redeem an irredeemable faux pas.” This coming from a woman who showed up on a quiet romance novel forum screeching “READ MY EDGY GAY INCEST STORY!!”

I swear, she even makes the Vicious Rhinoceros and her sidekick, look slightly less insane.

My hope for her is that one day (soon), she learns about the benefits of taking one’s medication before logging onto the computer.