HomeReviewsInterviewsStoreABlogsOn Writing

As my loyal readers will know, we did the Ferfelabat AKA Cindy Cruciger Pretends To Hate Karen Scott/Smart Bitches/Dear Author thing last summer. It was highly entertaining for me, and I’m sure it was for Cindy also.

I kindly gave her a way out, out of the teeny tiny hole she’d dug for herself, and we agreed, to stay out of each other’s part of the blogosphere, because even then, I knew that this was a relationship that was not meant to be. I did try telling Cindy that I just wasn’t into her that way, but alas, I fear I may have broken her tender heart by my rejection.

Well, Cindy stayed away from me for a while, then a few of months later, she lovingly decided to make fun of my inability to conceive children. She wrote:

Let’s check in, shall we? Earlier Karen Scott was having dreams about breaking every bone in a baby’s body. Last year we learned that she only has her period once every six months or so and, in addition to making it impossible for her to reproduce (a good thing given that she dreams about abusing babies), when it happens, it is apparently so profound that she requires tent sized undies to contain it.

Awww, her love really knows no bounds. What a darling, darling girl. Mind you, I suspect her friend Ann Vremont might have been a little in love with me also, seeing as she went one step further and produced a beautiful caricature of me with bloodied, dying babies. I must admit, I did question Dear Ann’s mental state, but I realised that this work of art stemmed from a desire to show me just how much she cared. Sweet, sweet girl.

Over the months, I’ve been alerted to various posts where Cindy’s been talking about me. The reverence with which she wrote these posts were truly touching. I think she called me evil a few times, but that was obviously just in jest.

I know that those posts came from a place of deep, deep love. She just wants me to acknowledge her, and I think she feels rejected when I take no notice of her. Ahhh, the misery of unrequited love and affection.

Anyway, I just received news via e-mail that proves her love beyond measure. I was so very moved. That wonderful woman has dedicated a whole post to me and my evil wonderful blogging style. Truly scrumptious. The post was so complimentary that I’ve decided to give her what she craves. I’ve decided to give her my undivided attention.

People, I hope you feel suitably sorry for me, because being me is bloody hard, especially when everybody wants me, as badly as Cindy Cruciger obviously does. What can I say, when you’ve got it, you’ve got it.

Anyway Cindy, bottoms up to you my lovely, and I hope that this dedication makes you feel all warm and toasty inside.

Hugs and Kisses

Your bezzie mate Karen Scott
Age 33 years old. xxxxx